THE CYCLE OF REVENGE

By Michael K. Farrar, O.D.

© God’s Breath Publications

 

In Star Wars Anakin’s mother is kidnapped by Tusken raiders and he sets out to rescue her. When he finds her, the trauma of her ordeal is too much for her to endure and she dies in Anakin’s arms. Faced with the grief of this great loss, anger rises up within him and he seeks revenge. In his blinding rage he kills everyone in the Tusken raider camp including men, women and children. So begins the saga of Darth Vader, for this incident fuels his passion to seek the dark side and initiates Anakin’s journey into evil. Deceived that sweet revenge will heal his wounds and make things right the true bitterness of revenge pollutes his soul. He fails to see that seeking justice and offering forgiveness is the only path that leads to contentment in times of hurt and anger.

 

Philip Seldon would not agree with my Christian perspective though. He teaches a class in college: “Revenge 101.” The following is an excerpt from an article in a New York newspaper. “Sweet, blissful, deeply satisfying revenge” of all the devices of spiteful human behavior it must quite the most fulfilling. To forgive, forget and turn the other cheek may be very noble, but not half as rewarding. Now the art of precision retaliation has reached new heights with one man’s crusade against simple forgiveness being translated into master class form. Ever since mild-mannered New Yorker Philip Seldon suffered at the hands of bullying classmates he has learned to exorcize his rage with a staggering array of retribution. Now he is running classes that offer innumerable tactics to exact revenge. He even offers a one-on-one $75 service for individual advice. Seldon wants the world to know why revenge is healthy and how you too can be cruelly vindictive.”

 

This is the mindset of the world, that revenge is a beneficial option to making things right. The world says get even. Secular advice suggests that the only way to feel better is to take revenge and hurt someone just as bad as they have you. Satanic worldly advice it is and it is grounded in rebellion against our Lord and Savior.

 

By contrast the congregation of St James’ Church in Capetown demonstrated holiness and righteousness in their response to an event that happened in their church on July 25th, 1993.

 

On that day a hooded gunman broke in and fired indiscriminately at the congregation killing 11 individuals and seriously injuring others. One of the church leaders emerged from this horrific event to make a statement so it could be carried on the national news. “While as Christians we must live in this fallen world, we do so knowing that at the end there is a new world coming, when Jesus will be acknowledged to be King. The members of St. James’ seek no revenge and harbor no bitterness. We are content to leave justice in the hands of the Almighty where is appointed a day of judgment when all will have to give an account of their actions.”

 

I am sure the members of this church desired that justice would be done and that the murderer of their friends and loved ones would be held accountable in a court of law. I am also sure they knew the wisdom of letting the authorities take care of the situation and that they could trust that God would deal with the situation in an appropriate manner. They knew as Spirit-led believers that seeking revenge would do them no spiritual good, would taint their witness as followers of Christ and would only serve to turn their lives inside-out emotionally. The problem with revenge is that it appears to be sweet at first as it feeds our fleshly desires but turns quickly bitter as it wounds the soul with its evil poison.

 

Early in scripture God sets down laws to govern His chosen people. One of His instructions comes to us in Leviticus 19:18 “Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.” God knows what happens when we seek revenge and hold grudges. In such situations we lean to our own limited understanding and make sinful judgments in how to behave. We fail to seek God’s input that is available to us in scripture, the advice from those wise in the Lord and from the Holy Spirit who lives within us as believers.

 

But how does one handle the intense emotions of hurt that are generated when someone wounds us? How do we deal with the trauma of having someone we love traumatized by the actions of another? We see such evil all around us. A terrorist bomb explodes in Iraq killing a soldier we know personally and visions of revenge float into our heads. A boy playing with matches starts a fire that destroys our friend’s home and we think it might be a good idea to burn his home down so he knows what it feels like. A friend at school starts an unfounded rumor about us and we begin thinking of a similar rumor we can spread about them. How do we seek God at such emotional times when our flesh begins to tell us that revenge is the only way?

 

I believe that we deal with such temptations as we do with any other; we deny our sinful desires and seek the Lord. Why do we do this? Because God has perfect knowledge about what has happened. He has perfect judgment about what should be done. He can give us the strength and power to deal with our temptations of revenge. We read in Romans 12:19-21 God’s advice for the temptation to sin. “Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord. On the contrary: ‘if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.’”

 

When someone hurts us or does us harm it sometimes is on purpose and sometimes is by accident. No matter what the motivation for their actions it still hurts deeply and we are tempted to seek revenge. If we choose to pursue revenge rather than forgiveness we encourage sin to continue its unending circle of destruction. Someone sinned against us; we sin against them and so on and so on. This circle of sin can continue until someone is mortally wounded emotionally, psychologically or physically. The only thing that can break this cycle is forgiveness. Someone must choose to forgive rather than pursue fleshly revenge tactics.  

 

A father had his daughter come up to him and share with him that some friends at school had said some bad things about her that weren’t true. She told him that it had hurt her a lot and while she knew it wasn’t right to try and get even she still wanted to. She asked him what she should do. The father thought a moment and then said, “Why don’t you write a note saying that you were very hurt over what they said but you forgive them.” The little girl responded quickly, “But dad, you weren’t there. You didn’t hear what they said. It hurt really bad!” The father calmly shared, “I know, but that’s my advice.” Several days later the little girl came back to her father beaming a large smile. “Hey dad, I took your advice and gave that note to my friends. It was great! They started crying, then I started crying and we hugged and now we’ve got it all worked out.”

 

This father knew the wisdom of Romans 12:19-21. The call we have as Christians is to overcome evil with good. In the above case it is possible that even though the little girl responded with forgiveness that the rumor-spreading friends could have responded in a more evil manner. But, our responsibility as servants of the Lord is to act in love despite the response of others. Why? Because this is what our Savior Jesus Christ did. He was tortured and beaten, tormented and prodded and still He responded with love and forgiveness.

 

Another verse that prompts us to forgive is based on the forgiveness we receive from our Savior. Ephesians 4:31‑32 says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” And Colossians 3:12‑14 challenges us how to live as children of God, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

 

It is a spiritual truth that our spiritual well-being is dependent on how often we forgive those who offend us. To have an unforgiving spirit who seeks revenge is to foster a poison that will ultimately kill our spirituality. Pastor Alistair Begg states, “The unforgiving spirit is the number one killer of spiritual life…Do you want to be spiritually useless? I’ll tell you what to do. Refuse to forgive others and you will be as spiritually ineffective so fast it’ll make your head spin.”

 

When Peter came to Jesus asking how many times he should forgive his brother the response of Jesus was a surprise to him. Matthew 18:21‑22 tells us, “Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy‑seven times.” Jesus was not saying here to count how many times you have forgiven and then let loose with revenge. He was making the point that we are to forgive countless times, over and over. The only way we can take such selfless action is to rely on the Holy Spirit who can give us the power over our flesh to forgive as God does.

 

But how can you forgive those who are not sorry for hurting you? Does granting forgiveness mean that you must become a Christian doormat for others to abuse? God does not want us to become targets for those who do evil. What should motivate us to take action is the love of God. This starts with forgiveness and sometimes leads to confrontation.

 

While the high priest was questioning Jesus an official struck Jesus on the face. Jesus did not turn the other cheek but questioned the man as to why he struck Him. Just like Jesus, we are not to seek revenge but sometimes it may be necessary to confront someone who has sinned against us. Sometimes we may have to forgive and walk away, knowing that those who have hurt us have no change of heart. Granting forgiveness is as much for our sake as for the other person. Lewis B. Smedes gives us wise advice when it comes to moving on from those who wound us when he states, “You reach into the unchangeable past and cut away the wrong from the person who wronged you, you erase the one thing, the only thing, that can remedy the inevitability of painful history. The grace to do it is from God. The decision to do it is our own.”

 

Stop the cycle of sin in your life caused by seeking revenge and learn to trust God. Know that you can have the mind of Christ as you are filled with the power of the Holy Spirit and forgive those who sin against you. Follow Christ’s example and forgive.